* I can’t reach my license unless you hold my beer.

* Sorry, Officer, I didn’t realize my radar detector wasn’t plugged in.

* Aren’t you the guy from the Village People?

* I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a
   police officer.

* Bad cop! No doughnut!

* You’re not gonna check the trunk, are you?

* Gee, that gut sure doesn’t inspire confidence.

* Didn’t I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?

* So, uh, you on the take or what?

* Gee, Officer! That’s terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning,
   too!

* Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.

* What do you mean, “Have I been drinking? You’re the trained specialist!”