Posted by Kim in General at 12:34 am | Permanent Link
In this photo, the guy on the right is a member of a bomb squad
in the middle of a deactivation.
The guy behind him, well, he’s …………..not funny!!
Happy Birthday to you!!!!!!
Hope you had a great day
Love the new hairstyle
Love and hugs
Kim, Steve & big hugs from Megs xxxxxxxxxxxx
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and
are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
and now published by court reporters who had the torment of staying
calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that
WITNESS: He said, “Where am I, Cathy?”
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his
sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: Uh, he’s twenty-one.
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed
on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was
doing an autopsy on him!
And the best for last
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check
for a pulse?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when
you began the autopsy?
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and
Another year older
but don’t have a ‘cow’
go grab a whiskey
and lets party now!!
Have a great day
Love you loads
Kim and Megan
A man and his wife are awakened at 3 o’clock in the morning
by a loud pounding on the door.
The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
Not a chance,” says the husband, “it is 3 o’clock in the morning!”
He slams the door and returns to bed.
Who was that?” asked his wife.
“Just some drunk guy asking for a push,” he answers.
“Did you help him?” she asks.
“No, I did not, it is 3 o’clock in the morning and it is pouring out
“Well, you have a short memory,” says his wife.”Can’t you remember
about three months ago when we broke down and those two guys
helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, “Hello, are you still there?”
“Yes” comes back the answer.
“Do you still need a push?” calls out the husband.
“Yes, please!” comes the reply from the dark.
“Where are you?” asks the husband.
“Over here on the swing!” replies the drunk