Something I read this week…

I was teaching my 6-year-old daughter how to unbuckle her seat belt.
She asked, “Do I click the square?”
I said, “Yes.”
She asked me, “Single click or double click?”

Now that looks like fun!!!

One of my fillings fell out a couple of weeks ago and I had to go
back today to have it refilled. “What are you worried about?” says
Hev (my sister-in-law and dental assistant) “its just a small filling,
temporary out and new filling in, no problem”. Yeh…right.

Turns out there was alot of decay under the filling and it turned out
to be a “crater”, my dentist’s description, not mine. Might have to
have the tooth removed if the filling doesn’t settle down…just
fantastic 🙁

They’ve got a lovely device which takes instant pics of your teeth
showing you in glorious technicolour the state of your gnashers…not
a pretty sight.

On the bright side Heather is very proud of the fact that she now has
her name on the brass plaque outside the dentists…well done Hev.
the dentists

44 days later David Blaine amazingly walked from his box on Sunday.
He’s 4 stone lighter, and has experienced shooting pains, dizziness, nausea
and irregular heartbeats, has been pelted with eggs, burgers and balloons
filled with pink paint and golf balls.

“This has been one of the most inspirational experiences of my life,” – what
it will inspire him to do next only time will tell.

Amazing man or just plain crazy…the jury’s still out.

My Mum has been very poorly over the last week, but hopefully seems
to be on the mend now.

Get well soon Mum
Love Kim and Steve xx

Get better soon Nanny so we can play again.
hugs and kisses
Megan xxx

And these are questions asked by actual Lawyers, worrying isn’t it?

Q: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn’t know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?

Q: Did he kill you?

Q: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?

Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?

Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at the time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?

Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

Q: Mr Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn’t you?
A: I went to Europe, sir.
Q: And you took your new wife?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30pm.
Q: And Mr Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?

Here are some actual court transcripts…

Q. What is your date of birth?
A. July fifteenth.
Q. What year?
A. Every year.

Q. What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
A. He said, “where am I Cathy?”
Q. And why did that upset you?
A. My name is Susan.

Q. What gear were you in at the moment of impact?
A. Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q. Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo occult?
A. We both do it.
Q. Voodoo?
A. We do.
Q. You do?
A. Yes, voodoo.

Q. How old is your son – the one living with you?
A. Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
Q. How long has he lived with you?
A. Forty-five years.

Q. Sir what is your IQ?
A. Well, I can see pretty well, I think.

Q. And where was the location of the accident?
A. Approximately milepost 499.
Q. And where is milepost 499?
A. Probably between milepost 498 and 500.

Need a laugh? I discovered these genuine insurance claims submissions,
just goes to prove that people don’t check what they’ve written….

1. I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my head
through it.

2. The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of time before
I hit him.

3. To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

4. I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof
of my car.

5. When I saw I could not avoid a collision, Istepped on the gas and crashed
into the other car.

6. The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

7. I pulled into a lay-by with smoke coming from under the hood. I realised
the car was on fire so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.

8. I drove my truck under a bridge and it didn’t fit.

9. A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.

10. Q. Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A. Travelled by bus?

Well wouldn’t you know it, it’s my day off today, had loads to do, made
a list and everything, get up this morning and….Meg is poorly.

She has been fighting it off for a couple of days, but it finally got
the better of her.

Get well soon Meg. Big hugs xxx

We had a letter from school last week telling us that there had been
complaints regarding the car parking situation.

Apparently half of the Council car park that we have to park in has
been sold off to offices and they have complained that they can’t park
in the mornings because parents aren’t vacating their spaces quickly
enough. Rubbish!!

The car park is still half empty when we leave at 9 o’clock. The actual
problem is at 3 o’clock when we arrive to pick up our children and the
car park is full and we are forced to park on the chevrons.

So we had a letter informing us that from today if we were in the car
park after the alloted times we would be issued with a ticket..and low
and behold waiting for us at the car park at 9:00 was a traffic warden,
book at the ready. As the children are often late going into and leaving
school I can see a good few arguments happening over the next few weeks.