Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large, raging violent river. Needing to get on the other side, the first man prayed, “God, please give me the strength to cross the river.” So…God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 […]

1. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide is that considered a hostage situation? 2. Isn’t Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse? 3. Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn’t live there. 4. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? 5. Whatever happened […]

Today is International Very Good Looking, Damn Smart Woman’s Day, Remember this motto to live by: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used […]

1. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 2. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. 3. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible. 4. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and […]

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Why do elephants wear blue tennis shoes? Because the white ones always get dirty. Why do elephants float in the river upside-down? To keep their blue tennis shoes from getting wet. Why do ducks have flat feet? For stamping out forest fires. Why do elephants have flat feet? For stamping out flaming ducks. Why do […]